One of the central truths of advertising is that sex sells. Another is that words and phrases with perfectly innocent definitions can sound downright pornographic when taken out of context. Just try saying "kumquat" without blushing. The fruit itself is actually extremely sour, not at all what the name would suggest. Accident? I think not.
Or go to a diner and tell the waitress you take it black, like it over easy, and prefer fresh squeezed. There is something very earthy about breakfast at a greasy spoon, and when Flo told Mel on Alice to "kiss my grits" we all knew she wasn't talking about hominy. We can thank the US navy for taking things further downhill with "shit on a shingle" (creamed chipped beef on toast), though the limeys have their own version "on a raft" made with kidneys. And anyone who made it through Ulysses and all that organ meat that Molly Bloom craves without catching the overt sexual references wasn't paying attention.
Any grease monkey knows how to do a lube job, twist a lug nut and what is going on between the master and the slave cylinders. As for pistons and crankshafts, it takes a lot of thrust to get the engine going. I am convinced that the absolutely filthiest song ever to slip past the censors is the Beach Boy's "Little Deuce Coupe", as a sample of the lyrics makes patently obvious:
Just a little deuce coupe with a flat head mill
But she'll walk a thunderbird like (she's) its standin still
Shes ported and relieved and she's stroked and bored.
She'll do a hundred and forty with the top end flooredShe's got a competition clutch with the four on the floor
And she purrs like a kitten till the lake pipes roar
And if that ain't enough to make you flip your lid
There's one more thing, I got the pink slip daddyAnd comin off the line when the light turns green
Well she blows em outta the water like you never seen
I get pushed out of shape and its hard to steer
When I get rubber in all four gears
Much more clever than The Lemon Song, which has all the subtlety of a ball peen hammer.
Sports metaphors are a slippery slope, especially when inserted in the workplace. That CEO missed an opportunity by neglecting to include ice hockey terms in his inappropriate address. Pressure in the crease, anyone?
Old School Ads, however, are the cream of the crop. As one memorable British 60s advert put it: "Unzip a banana"
My, oh my. What ever happened to Carmen Miranda? I think I'll go have a Snickers. I hear tell it satisfies.
