I thought long and hard, so to speak, before deciding to go forward with this post. I imagine this is the sort of dilemma that Rupert Murdoch faces every day; "Is it newsworthy? Is it in the public interest? Does it have a shred of redeeming social value? Bollocks!" (He'd say it that way, as an Aussie). But how many opportunities does one have to provide a civics lesson, defend the first amendment, and combine the phrases "Confederate Flag" and "Truck Nutz" in reference to each other? Exactly.
Like many in my social set, for whom the acme of the weekly calender is listening to NPR's News Quiz Wait Wait Don't Tell Me on Saturday morning, I learned last week of the bill under debate in the Florida Senate banning artificial testicles from the trailer hitches of pick up trucks.
TALLAHASSEE, Florida (Reuters) - Senate lawmakers in Florida have voted to ban the fake bull testicles that dangle from the trailer hitches of many trucks and cars throughout the state.
Republican Sen. Cary Baker, a gun shop owner from Eustis, Florida, called the adornments offensive and proposed the ban. Motorists would be fined $60 for displaying the novelty items, which are known by brand names like "Truck Nutz" and resemble the south end of a bull moving north.
According to Florida's WCTV; "The prohibition of the attachment was an addition to a much larger transportation bill." I should certainly hope so.
These are popular items in Florida, we are told, although since they just don't look right on the rear bumper of a Subaru Legacy you don't see them much in the Berkshires. Over at Tigerhawk, the Charlottesvillain is quick to pick up on the contitutional issues involved, saying; "First of all, does the gun shop owner really advocate government intrusion in such trivial matters? Has he no sense of irony? (A rhetorical question, obviously.)" Having no first hand experience with the item in question, I turned to Google to see whether these are an improvement on the fake propellors one sometimes sees mounted on trailer hitches, or the greatest threat to the sensibilities of decent folk since Justin Timberlake. Since most of you are viewing this at work, I will spare you the more graphic images, but this one, arranged in an attractive cloverleaf pattern and emblazoned with the Confederate battle flag, was too good to pass up. After all, it is Confederate Heritage Month, and apparently this isn't considered desecration.
However, the main problem I have with Truck Nutz is that they are designed to hang facing the wrong way. More like a trophy than an extension.
Like I said, I'm sticking with my fuzzy dice.