How many of these scathing movie reviews can you figure out - before you Google them? Or have you seen any films for which any of the following would be equally applicable?
1. "The competition is enormous, but ... the case could be made for [this] as the worst film series since Thomas Edison got the wacky idea that pictures could move...The story is so convoluted and impenetrable,so impossible to grasp hold of, that viewers sit there wondering if they've had a stroke."
2. "boring and near-unwatchable; its title sums it up with cruel accuracy."
3. "Fishtar" "One bajillion dollars.. for this? ...if they'd waited 5 years a high school AV class could have green screened it for them for a few six packs of beer."
4. "just to prevent any confusion for first time viewers, if somebody is called an "Indian" (or nasty derivative) then they are probably referring to the Caucasian guy in the denim jacket and black hat."
5. "[She] has been a terrible actor in many, many films and now - fiercely aspirational as ever - she has graduated to being a terrible director. She has made a movie so incredibly bad that Berlin festivalgoers were staggering around yesterday in a state of clinical shock, deathly pale and mewing like maltreated kittens. She is also the producer and co-author of the script. If she'd done the location catering as well, they'd have had a Jonestown situation on their hands."
6. " It's a movie Trent Lott would defend, at least in private. If a Confederate flag flying in South Carolina is cause for uproar, how is this movie escaping into theaters without precipitating an NAACP press conference? Ballooning, jingoistic goat spoor..."
I've endured viewing all but #5, which is brand spanking new!
More (2/19/2008): 1. Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End (2007)
5. Filth & Wisdom (2008), Madonna's feature film directing debut