It's a lot of hard time to face over a doughnut, even a really good one. In Farmington, Missouri, " Country Mart's doughnuts are made up and fried fresh daily in the store, they retail for 52 cents each." Allegedly pushing away a female store clerk while stuffing one of these pastries in his sweatshirt, Scott A. Masters (41) upped the ante from a misdemeanor shoplifting charge to felony 2nd degree robbery which carries a 5-15 year penalty. Masters has an extensive prior record, however, which means his sentence could be doubled to 10-30 years, and prosecutors want to throw the book at him.
"Speaking from jail, he told the St Louis Post-Dispatch: 'Strong-arm robbery? Over a doughnut? That's impossible. There's no way I would've pushed a woman over a doughnut.'
To make matters worse, Mr Masters said he did not even get the chance to savor the snack - he threw it away as he fled the scene."
According to the Post Dispatch:
"It was about 11 a.m. on Wednesday, Dec. 6. The store was in a lull. Gibbs, who could see the doughnut case from her station, said she saw Masters slip the doughnut into the pocket of his hooded sweatshirt.
She turned to a co-worker and said, 'I saw him take a doughnut. Let's see if he pays for it.'
They watched Masters as he strolled past the seven green checkout lanes and out a side door between the customer service desk and the pharmacy, passing under a giant 'Country Mart Thanks You' sign.
Gibbs' co-worker followed Masters into the parking lot. The co-worker, a 54-year-old woman, demanded that Masters come inside, according to the police report. He offered to give the doughnut back. She declined and grabbed his arm.
That is when Masters allegedly delivered 'a backhanded punch to the chest' and took off running, police said.
'That made her mad,' Gibbs recalled.
The woman, who was uninjured, jumped in her car and called police as she chased Masters. He was arrested minutes later."
Imagine the humiliation of having to explain to your cellmates that you got put away for 30 years because you had to have a honey dipped and ended up not getting any. I'd imagine being the "Cream Pie Kid" or the "Munchkin Bandit" wouldn't really strike the proper tone in maximum security. At least it wasn't a package of beef jerky.
The crime in Farmington, Missouri (where I'm from) is that you can't find a good donut. Well, not since my Aunt Jean closed her shop. So, I'll wager it really is the donut not the shove. What lengths will man go to for a clogged artery?
fM
Posted by: footnoteMaven | October 10, 2007 at 03:51 PM