"Tight as the Rusted Lugnuts on a '55 Ford" Lincoln vs. Rather Color Commentary Showdown

Culled from the vaults of folk witticism, Walking the Berkshires proudly presents the Abe Lincoln vs. Dan Rather Color Commentary Showdown.  Each contender is well known for having the common touch and making a rich use of country-style idiom.  We invite you to identify which of the following quotes are Rather's and which are attributed to Lincoln.  Some of Dan Rather's best material cannot be used here, as its modern references would give him away, but can't you just see Lincoln describing Sherman's March as "sweeping through the South like a big wheel through a cotton field"?

1.  "If a frog had side pockets, he'd carry a hand gun"

2.  "Every man must skin his own skunk."

3.  "short and sweet, like an old woman's dance."

4.  "Don't taunt the alligator until you've crossed the creek."

5.   "like an ox jumped halfway over the fence." 

6.   "don't know whether to wind the watch or to bark at the moon"

7.   All the little colt revolvers would have grown into horse pistols."

8.  "like a man letting rooms at one end of the house when the other end is on fire."

9.   "Mother is right, looks can be deceiving."

10.  "he can hold a leg while someone else skins."

Leave your answers in the comments.  The winner will receive the plaudits of a grateful nation and our endorsement for a color commenter tryout with the minor league team of your choice.  Unless Dan already has the job.

Update (3/21/2007)  Answers here.

Comments

[Al Mollitor]

A favorite of mine is: Nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

[GreenmanTim]

Nice, Martin: 7 out of 10. Ain't saying yet which, however...

[Sissy Willis]

My first instinct is that they're all -- more or less -- Lincoln's, with some if not all "borrowed" by "false but accurate" Dan. What a fun exercise! :-)

[Martin Langeland]

Rushing in like a fool on a stool:

Mr. Lincoln uttered 2, 3, 6, 7 and 10

Mr Rather shaped in pear-like tones: 1, 4, 5, 8, and 9.

I guess.
--ml